Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

A Chanticleer For Leibowitz

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008

When Walter visited us at the commune, he didn't talk philosophy. He made a big production out of fishing and communing with nature. In fairness, he was communicating with nature, but it was more with all things mysterious. Walter was a curious soul. He was tall and squinted at the world ...

My Soul Needs Crazy Medicine

Thursday, May 1st, 2008

Tomorrow I'll drink the joy juice. That'll shake things up, inside and outside this skull. Everything old will be new again, and I'll be myself for a change. Don't worry, it's no worse than Iggy Pop. The real magic is inside us, anyway. Some of us just need a good kick in the ass every ...

Justice Is Relative For Comics

Saturday, April 26th, 2008

If Lenny Bruce was alive, he'd have his place in the sun, now. Who could offer more scathing commentary on our all-too-human foibles? The inward tension oozed from his pores. If junkies get relief from the existential buzz, no wonder they're addicts. Just living is work when you don't have a maid. In this material ...

No Fancy Pants Required For A Spiritual Dancer

Friday, April 25th, 2008

Mr. Smooth said that cars run better when he's a passenger. I thought it was a smug thing to say but I have to admit it's true, at least when he rides with me. He's not the swivel-hipped rebel from some forgotten vignette now showing on YouTube— he's more like someone with ...

Never Take A Joker Literally

Saturday, April 19th, 2008

Somebody knocked on the door and I looked through the little window at what could only be a Jehovah's Witness, with his black leather satchel and white short sleeves. I knew he had a mission. This was a golden opportunity, so I stripped and put on my thong. Then I opened the door ...

Who Else Will Toot Your Horn?

Sunday, April 13th, 2008

When I saw the bleached-blonde psycho writhing on the bed in her red hotpants like she was warming up for a gang bang with the Pirate crew, I knew Captain Hornblower was on board. She asked me if I had any powder and I told her to go fuck herself, knowing ...

Death Is A Rich Man’s Fantasy

Tuesday, April 8th, 2008

Nothing like a royal palm tree to make you feel the subtropical vibe— they're sculpturally exotic. A cool breeze caresses his worries away as he pulls his feet slowly through the pleasantly coarse sand beneath his table. By the look of his eyes I'd say he's got a good buzz on. I guess ...